Mortgages

- Come to think of it... Maybe I can give you a better rate...

Mortgage Dept.

Do you still offer those mortgages with hardly any money down, super low rates and no payments unless you threaten me?

Loans

We're offering you an assumable mortgage.

We assume you'll make the payments and you can assume we'll make your life miserable if you don't.

Mortgage Dept.

Your children are quite young and likely to wet the bed.

Technically, that puts you in a flood zone so your interest rate would be higher.